Lash Extensions 101: Faux And Fabulous
Happy Birthday, Mr. T!
Leave it up to 'Saturday Night Live' to slam the nail on the head when it comes to making us laugh about almost any significant event within American media. Last Saturday, the show continued its tradition by doing a skit featuring Tiger Woods and his wife, Elin Nordegren. In the skit, 'SNL' shows continuous news breaks, where Tiger is being beaten by his wife between each clip for saying the wrong thing. He ends the skit with bruises on his face and a golf club twisted over his head.
The Tiger Woods' 'SNL' skit was funny and on point. At the same time, it was dead wrong. Regrettably and sadly, I must emphasize the word "dead."
While the Tiger skit made us laugh about the idea of a man being chased by his wife for being unfaithful, it doesn't remind us of the fact that thousands of men are killed or seriously injured by jealous spouses each year. Additionally, there are likely going to be several men who are killed by women who've become inspired by the "courage" shown by Elin Nordegren. Domestic violence is not a joke, especially when the perpetrator is using an object that can turn any person into a vegetable by cracking his or her skull. By seeming to fudge the truth in order to protect his wife (remember Tiger said that Elin was "acting courageously" in his original statement), Tiger is no different from any abused housewife who thinks that her husband was right to beat her for burning the cookies or losing the car keys. Yes, marital infidelity is far more serious than burnt cookies, but if your mate cheats on you, you don't have the right to whack them in the head with deadly objects.
The Tiger Woods skit might not have been nearly as funny had the event instead featured Woods chasing his wife with a golf club. No matter how unfaithful she might have been and no matter what she might have said, none of us would have been able to laugh it off and congratulate Tiger for using a weapon to "hold his wife accountable" for her behavior. Imagine further if instead of being sent to jail, Tiger was given millions of dollars to stay in the marriage and was held up as a national hero. Are you understanding how sick this is starting to sound?
The skit was made even more distasteful by the fact that the musical guest for the night was Rihanna, a woman who'd just made a pile of cash describing how traumatized she was when Chris Brown punched her in the face several times during a fit of rage. If Chris had chased Rihanna with a golf club, bashing in her windows and sending her to the hospital, he would be in jail and instantly condemned by all of America. Why does that standard change when the perpetrator is a woman? We must also ask ourselves just how much of a "victim" Elin Nordegren would appear to be if she were a black woman doing the exact same thing. Race and gender blast out of this case like the shattered glass in Tiger's busted up SUV.
Dr. Towanna Freeman, a leading women's empowerment speaker, had this to say about domestic violence in your own relationships:
"The following are a few red flags that should be taken seriously: jealousy, isolation, threats of violence, verbal abuse, controlling behavior, does not respect privacy, and disrespects others. If someone you know demonstrates one or more of these characteristics on a consistent basis, he or she has the potential of being an abuser."
So for anyone who heard about Tiger's wife trying to kill him and thought that she was justified, please remember this the next time you have a female friend who is beaten to death by a jealous boyfriend. Perhaps we could make a comedic skit about the disfigured face of Tina Turner, after she was beat relentlessly by Ike Turner for several years. The Tiger Woods skit may have been funny, but only because we've trained ourselves to believe that the bounds of chivalry imply that a cheating man deserves whatever punishment he receives. Sorry, my friends, it's not that simple. Women know how to kill, too, and abuse is not acceptable no matter who distributes the violence.
If Elin tried to hit Tiger with that golf club, she should be going to jail. If Tiger were taking a nine iron to Elin's head, we wouldn't want to hear any explanations. No matter how you slice it, stroke it or hook it, the Tiger Woods 'SNL' skit was fundamentally flawed and irresponsible. Reckless violence should never be rewarded, even on 'Saturday Night Live.'
Dr. Boyce Watkins is a Professor at Syracuse University and founder of the Your Black World Coalition. To have Dr. Boyce commentary delivered to your email, please click here. 
Comments: (28)
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By: phibba on 12/08/2009 12:25PM
Dr. Boyce,
I DID NOT view SNL's hilarious skit as one which joked about domestic violence. Rather it poked fun at Tiger Woods. It scoffed at his ridiculous effort to hide the fact that he and his wife had obviously had an altercation. It scoffed at Tiger's feeble attempt to cover up his marital infidelity. If you want to address the seriousness of domestic violence against men, then you are looking in the wrong direction. Why not look toward the law enforcement officials who glossed over the clear evidence that a domestic battery had taken place on the evening in question at the hands of a white woman against a black man. We all know what the outcome would have been had Tiger's wife, Elin, been found dazed with facial lacerations withTiger hovering over her holding a golf club and a "silly" explanation about how the injuries and ensuing car accident occurred. No. Domestic battery against men is no laughing matter when it is trivialized by the criminal justice system. Neither is the reverse situation. In fact, the SNL skit was moreso a revelation of the probable true occurrence of events. It is unfortunate that Rihanna was the musical guest that evening but the Tiger Woods' saga is the topical event on every TV show these days. For all we know, Rihanna may have been forewarned about the skit . Rihanna has had her day in court and she is still being given opportunities to speak out against "domestic" violence in any number of media formats. Tiger denied himself those opportunities because of his own dalliances. I am not saying that Tiger deserved to be beaten. I am saying that Rihanna, a public figure, made the right choice in reporting her abuse and that Tiger made an ill-chosen decision in his effort to protect his own false public image.
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By: Vicki on 12/08/2009 11:25PM
I agree with your post. By the way, according to Tiger Woods, he is not black and because of that I think he's getting his race-neutral response from the African American community. This is what he wanted...we should leave him alone, since that is what he has wanted from our community and let him weather this storm the way he wants. I'm not feeling this guy and never will. He has bilked millions from corporations and he doesn't need or want our help or sympathy. Too be honest he will come out of this just fine. The golf community needs him.
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By: Russ on 12/09/2009 12:56PM
if this were the other way around the women nazi s would have a field day how little miss so &so should be protected from big bad wolf how come women ALWAYS get a free passWAKE UP MEN FIGHT FOR YOUR RIGHTS THIS IS ANOTHER EXAMPLE WHY U CANT HAVE WOMEN IN CHARGE they want to go in boys locker room but they sure as hell dont want aman in female locker rooom;;;;;
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By: Chinwuba on 12/08/2009 6:35PM
Dr. Watkins, I think YOU slammed the nail on the head. Women are coddled in the judicial system, especially in issues of violence and paternity. This isn't a flaw of the judicial system, but rather the result of the values and assumptions of American culture. I believe that this disparity results from the attempt to treat men and women equally while (for lack of a better word) "benevolent" sexism still exists that paints women as the weaker sense and thus by default places them as victims in many interactions.
Correcting that is a herculean feat!
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By: Chinwuba Okafor on 12/08/2009 6:41PM
If you want to see an international example of this skewed view of men as aggressors and women as victims, check out the following link and read about Kiranjit Ahluwalia. Bananas!
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/3542348.stm
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By: Zenith on 12/08/2009 7:02PM
OK, so we have a double standard:
Women get away with domestice violence more than men. Men get away with emotionally abusing their children and wives by commiting adultery more than women.
What do we do with this? You can't selectively protect the scandalous behavior of onehalf of the population by not making adultery a crime and then cry out when the other half takes matters into their own hands. Where is the public outrage at Tiger's ( and men like him) having unprotected sex with jumpoffs and then with unknowing wife. THIS HAPPENS ALL THE TIME and NO ONE CHARGES THESE MEN WITH MURDER WHEN THE WIVES (and sometimes newborn children) come up HIV positive. Politicians, athletes ,actors, society's biggest moneymakers are usually men and can manipulate society to protect their own selfish ways- i.e. no laws or consequence against adultery. I'm not an advocate of violence, but understand any person who feels the need to protect him/herself against a situation which SHOULD be illegal and allows for the victimizer to get away with , in some cases, murder! With that beign said, women should not get married, get educated, make their own money and enjoy life- view men as accessories not necessities. Seemimgly, that's how men view us and it has worked to their advantage.
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By: Ashley on 12/11/2009 3:11PM
I understand what you are saying, but you are citing all these "what if's"...what if she were a man? what if she were african american? The fact is she is neither of these things. And the truth of the matter is--she chased after tiger with a golf club. That is the story, and that is what SNL portrayed. They always step over the line, that is the point of the show. ITS COMEDY. People will always find a reason to complain about it. And your statement saying "violence should never be rewarded."--well, I don't see any rewards here? SNL didn't win, Tiger didn't win, and you surely don't see Elin smiling away...SNL made a joke, and sometimes jokes fall flat. No reason to add insult to injury. (no pun intended.)
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By: Brad on 12/12/2009 7:39PM
The joke is not that domestic violence is funny. The joke is that domestic violence perpretrated by women is not taken seriously in our culture. We laugh because it is a hidden truth we have yet to grapple with or talk about...it's a form of nervous laughter about our collective prejudice. Quite a bit of comedy, although at times tasteless, can be understood in this light and, in my opinion, to the ultimate betterment of our society. We may feel most comfortable to mull over and hopefully discuss our collective prejudices only after the ice is broken by comedy. You, for example, have taken this opportunity to educate on the subject, and I thank you. Any man who has called a domestic violence hotline only to be shrugged off, would thank you and would also wonder what else can be done to keep the discussion going. More comedy would be all right with me. Only after we have collectively recognized the gravity of the subject will we collectively stop laughing.
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