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NBA superstar Dwyane Wade is getting in to an even deeper dispute with his estranged wife, Siohvaughn. This week, Dwyane spoke out about his wife's unstable mental state and demanded full custody of his kids.
Siohvaughn's lawyer shot back on Thursday:
"Our client believes that these various papers were filed as retaliation for her legitimate claims filed March 19, 2010, in the Domestic Relations Court in a Petition for Order of Protection, regarding the abuse by Mr. Wade dating back to 2006," Eunice Ward, an attorney for Wade's wife stated in an e-mail to the Associated Press.
The two boys, aged 8 and 2, are the subject of the custody battle. The couple filed for divorce in 2007, and their trial is scheduled to begin in June.
Siohvaughn previously alleged that her husband abandoned his children and that they were afraid to be in his presence. She also accused him of being guilty of "extreme and repeated mental cruelty toward her."
In her E! Hollywood interview, Siohvaughn discusses Wade's neglect and the pressures of the high life but doesn't mention any mental abuse. As a matter of fact, she talks about "not giving up on your marriage and keep[ing] a good, positive support system...." Watch it here:
Wade has responded to his wife's disparaging claims by saying she participates in "alternative avenues of worship that are completely outside of the status quo" and that his children should not be raised in that environment.
"It is regrettable that this father now chooses to use mental health and religion as another means to battle and abuse the Mother," Ward said in the e-mail statement.
Wade has also accused his wife of having affairs and keeping him from seeing his children.
The divorce of Dwyane Wade reminds me of a movie I watched just the other day called "War of the Roses." In the film, the bliss of marriage deteriorates into a living hell for both parties, as the wife and husband find ways to make their spouse's life into a nightmare. The film ends with both of them lying dead on the living room floor.
While most marriages don't end in the same way as the movie, there is a high risk of emotional death after going through the pain of divorce. The messy he-say/she-say becomes embarrassing to both parties, as even Stevie Wonder can see that this couple was married too young. Siohvaughn says he's dangerous and emotionally-abusive; Dwayne says that she's manipulative and crazy. Either way, they both end up looking bad and the rest of the country makes a spectacle of their emotional turmoil.
On the flip side, the Dwyane Wade divorce reminds us that perhaps we should consider rethinking the marital process. Personally, I argue that every couple should take a serious class before getting married. I'm not talking about a class that is taught by a pastor (although we can agree that your faith is important). I am talking about a class that is taught by someone who has spent years scientifically studying and researching the detailed methodologies necessary to manage the marital process. The class should teach couples how to resolve disputes, how to build trust and how to engage in the act of learning to truly love another person on a day-to-day basis.
Of course my dream will never be realized. Instead, any couple who has a great night of you-know-what can stumble in to a chapel in Vegas and tie the knot. Then, they commit themselves to knots in their stomach until they can find a way to undo the commitment that was prematurely made. Such is the way of life. Either way, your thoughts:
Dr. Boyce Watkins is the founder of the Your Black World Coalition and the author of the new book, "Black American Money." To have Dr. Boyce commentary delivered to your email, please click here. 
Comments: (39)
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By: Vita on 4/03/2010 11:49AM
pastorial class...? And what classes are the pastors taking because some of them are just as bad as some of these atheletes and superstars...I am not feeling this pastor thing...how can you tell the good ones from the corrupted ones in any phase of life.....Just wondering
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By: rockstarr on 6/01/2010 12:36AM
Vita...you just dont go to any pastor and get marriage counseling you go to your church where you fellowship at...and if you dont have a church home then you take the time and find one and you pray on it...God will never put you on the wrong path to find him and to receive his word...and even when you find a church home your pastor can only teach you so much you have to do your own research yourself cause everyone reads the Bible differently.....you and your pastor may not always see eye to eye on things...and thats ok too...all you can do is pray and keep your faith!!!!
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By: ricky on 4/03/2010 12:05PM
You do know that some pastors have the training that you are talking about, to help couples who come to them for couseling; or if they see something that is beyond their skills they can refer them to someone who can give them long term help.
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By: One who deeply is concerned... on 4/03/2010 3:33PM
Dwayne and his ex-wife Siohvaughn should go to Jesus and ask for His assistance. I don’t know the behind the scenes stuff that has led up to this public debacle but each of you need to think of the children. Dwayne and Siohvaughn, at the expense of sounding foolish to you, I urge you to consider where each of you stand in your relationships with God. You have to find a way to forgive each other. I’m not saying you should necessarily work on mending the marriage, although if at all possible that would be ideal, but I am saying that you must forgive each other. Marriage is a very powerful institution created by God. It takes a serious commitment. Love is a verb. It is not a feeling though it can involve feeling. Love is doing for one another even if sometimes you may not feel like it. A man is to love his wife as Christ loved the church. PAY ATTENTION MEN! Jesus gave His life for the church. A woman is to fit in with her husbands plans so long as they line up with God’ Word but a man is also supposed to lay down his life for his wife. IT TAKES GODLY WISDOM TO UNDERSTAND HOW THIS PROCESS WORKS. YOU CAN’T JUST BE THE CASUAL CHRISTIAN AND UNDERSTAND HOW TRUE MARRIAGE WORKS. THE C AND E CHRISTIAN WON’T BE ABLE TO GRASP THIS. A C & E CHRISTIAN IS ONE WHO GOES TO CHURCH ON CHRISTMAS AND EASTER BUT HAS NO REAL RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD. YOU CAN’T BE ONE OF THOSE WHO MAY TRY TITHING A FEW TIMES AND WHEN HE OR SHE SEES NO TANGIBLE RESULTS GIVES UP AND SAYS THAT IT DOESN’T WORK. The things that God offers to the believer are borne out of time spent with Him. You must spend seasons with God in prayer. You must spend seasons with God in giving. You must spend seasons with each other in prayer and reading God’s Word alone and together… Whatever road(s) you take at this point the children are watching you. If you continue to make wrong decisions (airing this stuff to public for example) you are going to hurt each other and the children. I am sad because of whatever happened to get you folks to this point but please take note that God’s Word says, “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. 1 Peter 4:8 Marriage is the second greatest transaction on this side of heaven. The first is a personal relationship with Jesus. Money and stuff, although they are nice to have, can’t bring you true contentment. Although it is nice to have that special someone, contrary to popular opinion, a woman cannot complete a man nor can a man complete a woman. God, in His infinite wisdom, created a void in everyone’s heart that only He can fill. When a person chooses to try to fill that void otherwise he or she ends up living a shallow and empty life. Even though some of these people who find stardom may seem happy and fulfilled on the outside inside they are like the religious leaders who were opposed to Jesus, “Full of greed and self-indulgence.”
They are just as lost as the person without the money and fame. They too are in need of a Savior (Jesus). Although it is I have so much more to say but I’ll end this segment for now. Dwayne and Siohvaughn I love you folks with the love of Christ. Jesus loves each of you and your children so much! If you choose to go down the ugly road of divorce at least think more about the welfare of the children. You are their biological parents and they need both of you to be stable. I pray Father, while I am not judging either of them, please make sure that Dwayne and Siohvaughn are both saved and baptized in Your Holy Spirit. I ask that you bless them to be great parents. I pray this in Jesus’ Name. Amen.
Dwayne the abilities you have to play basketball were given to you by God. Don’t waste what he has given to you. You have been given a platform to bring glory to God. You can inspire others to do great things. Don’t become a statistic.
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By: One who is much concerned about the conditions of others... on 4/03/2010 4:04PM
(SLIGHT CORRECTION)
Dwayne and his ex-wife Siohvaughn should go to Jesus and ask for His assistance. I don’t know the behind the scenes stuff that has led up to this public debacle but each of you need to think of the children. Dwayne and Siohvaughn, at the expense of sounding foolish to you, I urge you to consider where each of you stand in your relationships with God. You have to find a way to forgive each other. I’m not saying you should necessarily work on mending the marriage, although if at all possible that would be ideal, but I am saying that you must forgive each other. Marriage is a very powerful institution created by God. It takes a serious commitment. Love is a verb. It is not a feeling though it can involve feeling. Love is doing for one another even if sometimes you may not feel like it. A man is to love his wife as Christ loved the church. PAY ATTENTION MEN! Jesus gave His life for the church. A woman is to fit in with her husbands plans so long as they line up with God’ Word but a man is also supposed to lay down his life for his wife. IT TAKES GODLY WISDOM TO UNDERSTAND HOW THIS PROCESS WORKS. YOU CAN’T JUST BE THE CASUAL CHRISTIAN AND UNDERSTAND HOW TRUE MARRIAGE WORKS. THE C AND E CHRISTIAN WON’T BE ABLE TO GRASP THIS. A C & E CHRISTIAN IS ONE WHO GOES TO CHURCH ON CHRISTMAS AND EASTER BUT HAS NO REAL RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD. YOU CAN’T BE ONE OF THOSE WHO MAY TRY TITHING A FEW TIMES AND WHEN HE OR SHE SEES NO TANGIBLE RESULTS GIVES UP AND SAYS THAT IT DOESN’T WORK. The things that God offers to the believer are borne out of time spent with Him. You must spend seasons with God in prayer. You must spend seasons with God in giving. You must spend seasons with each other in prayer and reading God’s Word alone and together… Whatever road(s) you take at this point the children are watching you. If you continue to make wrong decisions (airing this stuff to public for example) you are going to hurt each other and the children. I am sad because of whatever happened to get you folks to this point but please take note that God’s Word says, “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. 1 Peter 4:8 Marriage is the second greatest transaction on this side of heaven. The first is a personal relationship with Jesus. Money and stuff, although they are nice to have, can’t bring you true contentment. Although it is nice to have that special someone, contrary to popular opinion, a woman cannot complete a man nor can a man complete a woman. God, in His infinite wisdom, created a void in everyone’s heart that only He can fill. When a person chooses to try to fill that void otherwise he or she ends up living a shallow and empty life. Even though some of these people who find stardom may seem happy and fulfilled on the outside inside they are like the religious leaders who were opposed to Jesus, “Full of greed and self-indulgence.” They are found empty and wanting. They are just as lost as the person without the money and fame. They too are in need of a Savior (Jesus). Although I have so much more to say I’ll end this segment for now. Dwayne and Siohvaughn I love you folks with the love of Christ. Jesus loves each of you and your children so much! If you choose to go down the ugly road of divorce at least think more about the welfare of the children. You are their biological parents and they need both of you to be stable. I pray Father, while I am not judging either of them, please make sure that Dwayne and Siohvaughn are both saved and baptized in Your Holy Spirit. I ask that you bless them to be great parents. I pray this in Jesus’ Name. Amen.
Dwayne the abilities you have to play basketball were given to you by God. Don’t waste what he has given to you. You have been given a platform to bring glory to God. You can inspire others to do great things. Don’t become a statistic.
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By: Andrew Thompson on 4/03/2010 5:43PM
Dr. Boyce: Sorry to disagree with you "but" who are you to say that pastors cannot be that someone to teach and guide couples who are having problems? Unless you are talking about the ones that are single. Many of the so called experts can't tell us jack because their marriages are sometimes messed up, yes some pastors too. All i am saying is there are qualified people from both.
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By: kms99 on 4/05/2010 4:45PM
Who cares? blah blah $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
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By: Pianki on 4/05/2010 9:58PM
Man you just can not marry these black American women or American women period any more. Always some gold digging issues. Brothers need to look to Africa. West Africa ay Ghana, Senegel, Togo, or Ethiopia. Friend of mine married a Ethiopia lady after 2 black Americans and he says he wish he had choose her the first time. I went to Ghana West Africa for my fiance and the difference is like nite and day.
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By: Jem1000 on 5/11/2010 7:44PM
I think that it is not right to rally behind a woman just because we are women. Instead look objectively at the situation. Wrong is wrong whoever the person is. If Dwayne is seeing erratic behavior in his soon-to-be ex-wife, he has a right to be concerned about his children, and to seek custody. That is what any good parent would, and should, do. Just because you marry someone, doesn't mean you ignore their behavior if it becomes erratic and suggestive of possible mental health issues. People change. Keep in mind that she has allegedly been making all types of allegations that are hurtful such as his hitting her and abandoning his children; yet, in the "E" interview, she said none of that. If he was so abusive, and they separated in 2006, should she not be thrilled that he is no longer with her? But instead, she seems upset. Also, why ask for a restraining now, about 4 years later, when he is nowhere near you to bother you? If she is doing/saying those things, they seem strange...
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