Mariners Milton Bradley Admits to Suicidal Thoughts

In a revealing interview with the Seattle Times, Mariners outfielder Milton Bradley admitted that not everything is peachy in the lives of professional athletes. During his 14-year career, he has dealt with the stress of being a professional athlete, including being insecure about his talent due to commentary from critics, analysts and negativity from fans.

One night during a game, he was feeling especially tense, when manager Don Wakamatsu took him out of the game and then he was pulled over by police on his way home:

"I got home and my heart was pounding," Bradley told the Seattle Times. "It was just one thing after another that night. I couldn't get it to stop. I felt like I'd been down this road before, where everything keeps happening and leads to something else and you can't control it. I just wanted it to stop. When you start feeling that the only way you can end it is to kill yourself, that's not a healthy feeling. So, I needed to get away, to step back for a bit. There are too many people I care about in this world to let things go down that road."

Bradley is known for not holding his tongue when speaking to the media and is not afraid to confront those who disrespect him, but the criticism he has received at times was too difficult for him to brush off:

"Before, it used to fuel me," he said. "But I just got tired of it. Every day, I'd wake up and there'd be something in the paper or people talking about me on the radio. I don't have anything more to prove. I know I can play. But now it felt like it was just a matter of people saying, 'How far can we just push this guy? Make him do something crazy to go over the edge? That's not going to happen. I won't let them push me over the edge. But after a while, you feel it."

He asked the Mariners for help earlier this month to help with his anger and depression issues, and he's been seeking counseling to deal with it. He knew what he was feeling but never could understand why. Of course, a lot of it could go back to when he was a kid:

"I played baseball, but there were no brothers [black people] playing on my baseball team," Bradley said. "Then when I'd go to the basketball court, because I liked playing basketball, it was all brothers. But they were like, 'You don't play basketball, you play baseball. You ain't a brother....' I got jumped several times, people tried to put me in gangs and stuff. So, I always just sort of stayed on my own, kept to myself."

Bradley admitted that even though he appreciates his career, his family and the millions that he's made, it's not a cure for what's bothering him, because he never sought out fortune and fame; he just wanted to play baseball:

"I'm the type of person who enjoys doing things that make other people feel good, whether it's helping a team win games or speaking to the students that day," he said. "They're all looking back at you with big eyes, waiting to hear what you have to say. That's where you have an opportunity to make a difference. You have a chance to do something good. And that's what I wanted to do."